30 Jun The Smart Condom – I.Con
Just what we need – a condom that is smarter than us!
Actually, a soon to be released development by British Condoms, the Smart Condom measures how many calories you are burning, how many thrusts, speed of your thrusts, how long you lasted, girth and how many different positions you have used in the week/month/year. Upload the information and see how you compare to all the other guys around the world!
Now I assume the name is not a reflection of the business – I con. And is it a way to stop other guys exaggerating about how long they lasted? Will girls be wanting to see your I.Con ranking when you buy them a drink in a bar? Or will you be opening up the app to show your mates on Saturday what a stud you were the night before. Not sure if it can tell if you were with someone or by yourself!
It is apparently a ring that sits over the base of an actual condom and is reusable. They don’t say if you can wear it without a condom. It has a nano-chip, sensors and uses bluetooth to upload your data to the app (don’t worry it won’t upload to everybody else’s phone so they know you just got lucky). It is rechargeable via a microUSB port (don’t worry it won’t malfunction and incinerate your penis – but maybe don’t charge it while you are wearing it!). A charge lasts 6 – 8 hours, so just long enough for most guys.
Your data can be anonymous or you can share it with your friends, or the whole world. Only £60 (so maybe about $100AUD).
I see lots of unintended consequences here…